tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88146185943110586012024-03-14T03:59:20.473-04:00Turtle Toe SoupKathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-4593581532253825952012-04-01T18:13:00.003-04:002012-04-01T18:13:56.486-04:00I know......I have been really lax in writing here, and that I have rarely kept up with other blogs, so it comes as no surprise that no one is really reading my blog anymore. That's ok. Blogging hasn't been the same for me since my mom died, or after AOL decided to throw us out. <br />
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Maybe someday I will get back into it. I do think of it from time to time. I think it would do me a world of good to get back to blogging and I miss some of the people that used to read me and that I read.<br />
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Maybe someday.......Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-47352643907850143092012-04-01T18:10:00.000-04:002012-04-01T18:10:06.309-04:00I'm alive. So much heart ache thoughAs you know my dad passed away in June -- 3 days after my birthday -- and I had the fun of cleaning out his house, putting it for sale, and finally selling it.<br />
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The day after Christmas one of dad's good friends, and a good friend of the family, passed away. I miss Tom. Knew him for years.<br />
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On March 22nd my Aunt Betty passed away. Aunt Betty was one of my dad's older sisters. I loved her so very very much. After my mom died she was like a 2nd mom. I would have never gotten through dad being sick or his passing without her. After daddy died she called me every night to see how I was doing and to wish me a good night. Well every night until she got really sick right around Christmas. <br />
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Losing Aunt Betty so close to losing daddy has been really painful. I couldn't get myself to go to a funeral. In fact I missed Tom's funeral, the funeral of a cousin (I barely knew her but still), I am not ready for funerals yet.<br />
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My brother still isn't speaking to me. But it doesn't hurt near as bad as it did at first.<br />
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A cute little cat showed up hungry in my yard back in January. She is short haired, black with a little white on her chest. I named her Friday and she now lives indoors with me and the other cats.<br />
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I have got to figure out how to get a life. I have no friends, the person I could turn to passed away, I need to get out of the house but I don't know where to go or what to do. I have to watch spending money. I do go to Wednesday morning Bible study but it isn't enough. <br />
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I get so lonely. I never knew just how painful being lonely could be. It really hurts your heart. It is just as painful, if not more so, as depression. Add the two together and I am a basket case more often than not.<br />
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KathyKathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-3208601865693439812012-02-13T09:49:00.002-05:002012-02-13T09:49:55.893-05:00I'm Still AliveI'm still alive. The holidays were horrible for me. Well the actual day wasn't too bad (even though I was alone) but the days afterward were almost more than I could handle. Dad's birthday would have been in January, mom's would have been later this month.<br />
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My rock, Aunt Betty has been sick since before Christmas and has been in and out of the hospital. I'm not sure but I think Hospice may soon be called in for her. I HATE this. I hate it. Aunt Betty and I spoke on the phone everyday since dad passed - up until she got sick. Now I can go days, or even a week without talking to anyone. It's hard.<br />
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I am trying to get a life. Really I am. Wednesday morning Bible study, a support group for people with bipolar that meets twice a month. It's not a lot I know but I just don't know what to do with myself. My house is a huge mess from not taking care of it while I was taking care of dad and now I have kept stuff from his house that I need to go through. I am tripping over stuff and running into bins. It's terrible. My depression is really why I can't seem to do anything. It's like where do I start? There is so much.<br />
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A stray cat showed up in the neighborhood last month, me and my neighbor had been feeding it. I finally was able to catch it, took it the the vet and have adopted it. She has a herpes virus in one eye so I have had to keep her separate from my other cats. Her eye seems tons better and I will soon try to get everyone merged together. I hope it works. Because of her herpes no one will want to adopt her (it can be catching). I had to get rid of one of my cats because she kept attacking dad's cat. Dad's cat had been through so much that I felt I had to keep her, but getting rid of Maggie was the hardest thing I had to do.<br />
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Everything legal has been done with dad's stuff. Well I have to file his last tax return, but that's it. The house has been sold (for next to nothing because of the housing market).<br />
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My brother won't talk to me (he is living about 6 hours from me) he blames me for the mess his life is in. The one niece that I am in contact with is married with 4 children and lives about an hour away.<br />
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I needed a power of attorney in case I got sick and couldn't think of anyone. I finally asked a cousin that I rarely see (and lives about 45 minutes away) if I could use her. Luckily she agreed.<br />
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My doctor wants me to have a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonoscopy" target="_blank">colonoscopy</a>. Not because of any problems but because of my age. Trouble is that they put you to sleep so you have to have someone to take you there and bring you home. I don't have anyone to ask to do that. My doctor acts like he doesn't believe me, but it's true. You don't want to ask someone you barely know to do such a thing. Also I am not wild about the idea of being put to sleep, the last surgery I had (which I was under deeper and longer than the colonoscopy would be) it messed me up and I ended up in the hospital for 4 days while they changed my meds around. I can't do anything that I might end up being hospitalized for. I don't have anyone to take care of my pets.<br />
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I KNOW I am so much better off than a lot of people, I realize that I should not complain about anything. But it is hard to be so lonely. I always had a feeling I would end up like this but had hoped somehow, someway it wouldn't happen.<br />
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I will get through this, I am still going to grief counseling, to my doctor, taking my meds, and even if I am ignoring the house work I stay busy playing games online. <br />
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Long entry. Sorry. I hear there is a way I can fix it so that my entries can go directly into my readers mailbox? The only thing I saw was where I had to enter the email addresses in myself. So if you want me to put you on that list just email me and I will add you. If there is another way of doing it please tell me.<br />
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Kathy<br />
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</h2>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-65833660605986491272011-11-17T13:13:00.002-05:002011-11-17T13:18:49.585-05:00The holidaysDad's house is on the market but so far no takers.<div><br /></div><div>I knew the holidays would be hard this year but I was preparing to take one at a time. But you can't do that if when you walk into a store, any store, and Christmas stuff is out. I was trying to get past Thanksgiving. </div><div><br /></div><div>I will be alone for the holidays. Someone did offer for me to join her family but I just don't know. Thanksgiving would be at her daughter's house out of town and I think it would be too uncomfortable for me. Christmas, well I would still feel strange. If it was just B and her husband would be one thing but being that her children and grandchildren would be there I just don't feel comfortable.</div><div><br /></div><div>I do have tons of stuff here at home that could keep me busy -- if I would just get off my rear end and do things. LOL</div><div><br /></div><div>I'll be ok. Not sure what I will be doing for sure, but I'll get through it somehow. </div><div><br /></div><div>Kathy</div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-5135630496767703582011-11-01T15:37:00.004-04:002011-11-01T15:51:58.951-04:00No title<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFXA9lHhrLOL5jkcs_SWIczejz1qHB4ndyn3by3rjh0wVRtEOx8ssdsVgoiQzELhcqqG0yXVuPzNflUkS1ZN5c4X-407RqX-Y8SLDbTCuLyCOhHg3TN8owVqfolWBEI2Dx5bZ2Jdwi4Mee/s1600/ABAEverHave-vi.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 208px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFXA9lHhrLOL5jkcs_SWIczejz1qHB4ndyn3by3rjh0wVRtEOx8ssdsVgoiQzELhcqqG0yXVuPzNflUkS1ZN5c4X-407RqX-Y8SLDbTCuLyCOhHg3TN8owVqfolWBEI2Dx5bZ2Jdwi4Mee/s320/ABAEverHave-vi.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670114731228696274" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><u><br /></u></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Today has been a better day for me. Not great, but better. I called to get the water turned off at dad's house. I either had to get a copy of his death certificate to them OR I could put it in my name (and pay $20 to do it) then I could get the water cut off. Really. They won't just turn off someone's water (which I can u</div><div><br />nderstand to an extent) but they would let me change the name the account is in then cut the water off. Hmmm........wonder.......could I just pick a random person call the water department and have them put it in another name and have it cut off? Could I use just any name that came to mind?</div><div>Sorry, but getting somethings done with power, water, and cable has been crazy. The telephone people were no problem. Everyone else is just crazy.</div><div><br /></div><div>Lower part of my back is hurting again. I don't think I did anything to it this time.</div><div><br /></div><div>I had Sophie's bottom lip operated on this past Friday (Sophie is my cat) and it has been healing up pretty good but today</div><div> it looks a little funny to me. I don't want to freak out and rush her back to the vet so I am going to way a few days to see what happens. Maybe it is supposed to look like this.</div><div><br /></div><div>Looking around my house trying to see where to start working. Going through the things I kept out of dad's house, or some of my own junk. Actually to get to my junk I will have to go through the things I kept from dads. I have no idea what I am going to do with stuff. Hopefully I will be able to let more things go as I go back through them.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tomorrow I am going to try to get to Wednesday morning Bible study. It will get me out of the</div><div> house and it is free. Free is good. </div><div><br /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFc0mloJMh6g1V5UJnlEjTS02eSzNW9veqqsgAKagSmtZ_D7pi4Pb28stfrwIYPXStKfjsgC0pHvXXOhXOC44TnegIiTP3KSshQQjcY4ZoVlSjjc4l0was0NI10lhVaf427lVmXw2Fy-9U/s320/Kathy2011MCHotStuff-vi.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670117009333266866" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline; float: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 275px; " /></div><div><br /></div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-60889544096923870932011-10-30T17:13:00.003-04:002011-10-30T17:36:26.986-04:00Almost done with dad's house.It has been just a few days over 4 months since dad passed away. I have been working hard on getting his house emptied and cleaned so I can get it sold. This past Friday (the 28th) the for sale sign went into the front yard. <div><br /></div><div>I did the yard sale, I kept stuff (my house looks like a hoarder lives here now), gave stuff away, bartered with a plumber to get some work done at my house with some stuff, and I still ended up having to pay someone to take the sofa away. But I got the house empty. My house is so full of stuff and I only kept about half what I wanted. Now I have to go through my house and get rid of my old stuff, the stuff I kept from dads or something. I have one room I can't even go into now. It's sad if you think about it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Seeing the for sale sign in front of dad's house, the house I grew up in, is really sad. And after talking to a real estate auctioneer and a real estate agent I was sad to discover that the housing market is worse than I thought. I am being told that there are tons of houses on the market and mostly investors are doing the buying. Investors want to buy cheap and rent out the house. They don't want to pay much. I will be lucky to get even half of the tax value for the house. My dad would die all over again if he knew how much -- how little -- I can expect to sell the house for.</div><div><br /></div><div>Dad's best friend helped me get through getting rid of everything. He kept me going, even after he couldn't go much more. Now there is nothing. I wake up in the morning with no place to go -- for over 2 years I took care of dad, then the past 4 months I'd meet up with Mike and go through stuff at dad's. Now I wake up and have no place to go. I have no one to call. I have no family here in town. I have no friends. I lost my "friends" over the years because they couldn't deal with my being bipolar. It hadn't been too bad as long as I had mom and/or dad. Now.......my rock, my Aunt lives about 45 minutes away and she is not in good health, the one niece I am in contact with lives an hour away and is married with 4 small kids. That's about it. I worried about growing old alone and it looks like it is happening. I don't know how I can handle it. </div><div><br /></div><div>I know I have to get out and make a life for myself somehow but I don't know how. I try to go to Wednesday morning Bible study which is good, but as far as making friends the people there are my parents age or older. There is a support group for bipolar folks and I have been but it just isn't working so good for me. And it only meets twice a month. Other than that I don't know what to do with myself. I am on disability because of my problems with being bipolar so no work or anything.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am alone. I am lonely. I hate this. What am I going to do? How can I keep busy? How can I go days without seeing or talking to anyone? How am I going to go through all this crap in my house and get rid of it? How am I ever going to be happy?</div><div><br /></div><div>For the last three or so years my life has been about mom being sick and dying, then dad getting sick and dying. I can't believe that for three years my thoughts have only been about sick and dying parents. It's been pretty depressing if you think about it. Now I don't have to think about such (but I do worry about my Aunt, I pray she doesn't pass anytime soon). It's weird. But it gives me time to think about me. About being alone. About being lonely.</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't believe my life has ended up like this. I am glad I got to take care of my parents. I wouldn't trade that time for anything. And who knows I may have ended up right here just like this if I hadn't cared for them.</div><div><br /></div><div>For now I am hanging on. I go to my shrink, I take my meds, I poop the cat litter box. I play a game on facebook. I play computer games, watch tv. Got to be more somehow. Has to be.</div><div><br /></div><div>Kathy</div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-27969772475616368182011-09-27T15:38:00.000-04:002011-09-27T15:38:17.318-04:00Is has taken so long, but close to an endMy dad's best friend (Mike) has been helping me go through dad's house, sorting things, selling a few things, and biggest job of all getting things ready for a HUGE yard sale. During this time I have been hit hard with grief so had to take some time off, and Mike's wife was in the hospital, and Mike himself had a small stroke and was in the hospital. But this Saturday October the 1st is the day. Yard sale. Everything must go. What doesn't sale will be donated, any furniture not sold will go with the house when it is sold. I am planning on having the house auctioned off. I think it will sell faster that way. I am hoping to have everything taken care of by Thanksgiving if possible. I don't want to drag it out, but I don't want to let go either. <br />
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Today I had dad's phone cut off. The phone guy said do you or someone in the family want to keep that number? It has been in the family so long. I said no. I wanted it, but it is a hassle to change my number, and I am working hard on "letting go" of things so I can "move on". I asked him when did my parents first get that phone number. Ready? January of 1966! 1966! That is the only "home" phone number I ever knew. Wow.<br />
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Haven't heard from my brother since he basically told me it is my fault he and his wife are homeless. Not my fault. They made decisions throughout their married life, burned bridges, treated people like they were disposable, and it has come back around to bite them.<br />
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Of my 3 nieces only 1 is in touch. She is sweet, married, 4 kids, and lives about an hour from me.<br />
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When I brought dad's cat (named 150) home with me I thought my cats would be ok with her. And they were for a few weeks, then Maggie started stalking and attacking 150. got so bad 150 was scared and would hide. Poor 150 had been through so much in her short life that I didn't want to uproot her again so with the help of my vet I found Maggie a new home. It hurt, still hurts. I have never gotten rid of a pet. I miss my Maggie, I know she is in a good home (the vet's in-laws) but it hurts. She loved me, but now probably hates me.<br />
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I'm hanging in there. Grief counseling is helping some, but not enough. I never knew it could be this hard. But of course now I have no parents or family in town, I am having to get rid of the house (which I lived from the age of 13 to about 23 years old), and my brother is ........well....,...<br />
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KathyKathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-61876650711275967852011-07-20T15:11:00.002-04:002011-07-20T15:23:38.168-04:00The yard guyI have this guy -- well man -- that mows my yard for me. M is such a sweetheart. Anyway, he was mowing my yard today.....he is a nice looking man.......then he took his shirt off......OMG. Yes he is single, but recently divorced with a kid. <div><br /></div><div>I am doing ok. Still have 2 cats that are fighting. I have tried everything I can think of. </div><div><br /></div><div>Still going through dad's house. Worked on the basement some today. Dad's friend Mike came by to help me. Mike has called me everyday since dad passed to check on how I am and if I need any help. He was such a good friend to dad but I can't believe how he has taken me under his wing. Maybe I remind him of one of his daughters? He says it's because dad was his best friend, and he thinks I have been a pretty good daughter and he cares about me too.</div><div><br /></div><div>Need to clean the cat boxes and just realized I am totally out of cat litter. Great. Can't go get any because I am waiting for the furnace/AC guy to come do the yearly maintenance on my system.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tomorrow I go downtown to the courthouse to file dad's will and get the legal stuff done. I could have done it before now but couldn't get an appointment. I HATE going downtown for anything, but this is just the pits. Everything I have to do makes it more final. I was doing ok going through the house but then I sold some of dad's tools and I cried like a baby in front of these people. Dad loved his tool, he loved woodworking and it was so much harder to part with those things than I ever dreamed it would be. Now I wonder if I can actually hold a yard sale without losing it. That would be great. Yard sale, me in tears the whole day......</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-33594606376058175942011-07-10T09:43:00.003-04:002011-07-10T09:49:39.103-04:00Alone again, naturally......Having so much to do you would think I wouldn't let myself sit still and have pity parties for myself. But if you believe that you would be so wrong.<div><br /></div><div>Working about a half a day at dad's house is about all I can do at a time. It just gets too hard. So I come home and all the stuff I have been neglecting the past couple years I find myself still ignoring. I either play on the computer or watch tv. Nothing is getting done at my house either.</div><div><br /></div><div>I thought dad's cat was going to be getting along good with my 2 cats, but suddenly my Maggie decides she has to fight whenever she sees 150. This is something new. Wasn't there until a few days ago.</div><div><br /></div><div>I know I am in no big hurry with dad's house, but I don't want it to drag on and on. I want to get "it all said done" before cold weather. I'm throwing stuff away, giving some away, and have a pile for a yard sale. I HATE doing a yard sale but I think I may need the money so it is something I am going to do.</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't mind me. I hope to one day find myself again. Find the me that got lost while taking care of my parents. I don't know who she is, where she is. or what she would like to do with her life, but I am looking for her.</div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-55805857297299051912011-06-26T11:31:00.002-04:002011-06-26T11:35:04.689-04:00Angels<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:medium;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 16px; text-align: left;font-family:'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif;font-size:11px;" ><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; font-weight: bold;font-size:11px;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Angels.</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; font-weight: bold;font-size:11px;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I was sitting in the room with daddy yesterday, I looked over and his eyes were open and he was looking up. So I walked over, put my hand on his chest and started talking to him. I asked him if he could see angels. I told him they were all round us, I had my guardian angel that would take care of me. If he was seeing angels then they were going to take him to Jesus. If they were wanting him to go with him then he should go. And that is when his heart stopped. I knew his gone but I called for the nurse and he had indeed left with the angels. No doubt in my mind that he saw angels and they were going to take him to Jesus.</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; font-weight: bold;font-size:11px;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; font-weight: bold;font-size:11px;"><span style="font-size:100%;">The doctor and everyone was surprised, they thought daddy would live a few more days. Just goes to show what they know. Daddy was waiting on the angels, and maybe even waiting on me to tell him it was ok to go.</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;font-size:11px;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >the nurse had to wait 5 minutes before declaring him dead, so she wrote down 2:27PM, but I know the angels took him at 2:22PM</span><br /></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;font-size:11px;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p></span></span>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-86988241778646352192011-06-25T20:00:00.001-04:002011-06-25T20:02:12.878-04:00Can you see the angels?<b><span class="Apple-style-span" >rest in peace</span></b><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" >Daddy</span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" >1/26/37 ---6/25-11</span></b></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-53446436964658846772011-06-24T07:42:00.000-04:002011-06-24T07:43:14.700-04:00Friday -- a week at Hospice<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 17px; line-height: 27px; ">A week ago this afternoon we brought dad to Hospice.<div><br /></div><div>Sunday -- Father's day -- was the last time I was able to have a conversation with him., and that was just before lunch time.</div><div><br /></div><div>Dad is still hanging on. He finally seems more restful and peaceful. I guess they have got his medicines right. His anxiety seems less and less. But it is still hard to sit here and watch him. I come and stay the biggest part of the day, wish I could stay more but the stress is just too much for me. I hope dad understands.</div><div><br /></div><div>Keep up those prayers. Thanks.</div><div><br /></div><div>Kathy</div></span>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-7693771370661163092011-06-21T18:52:00.000-04:002011-06-21T18:53:02.443-04:00update<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 17px; "><h2 class="date-header" style="margin-top: 1.5em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; font: normal normal normal 78%/normal Georgia, Times, serif; line-height: 1.4em; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 0.2em; color: rgb(120, 183, 73); "><br /></h2><div class="date-posts"><div class="post-outer"><div class="post hentry uncustomized-post-template" style="margin-top: 0.5em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-left: 0px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: dotted; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); padding-bottom: 1.5em; "><a name="1124118012725156302"></a><h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="margin-top: 0.25em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; color: rgb(204, 102, 0); "><a href="http://howsalvindoing.blogspot.com/2011/06/update.html" style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0); text-decoration: none; display: block; font-weight: normal; ">update</a></h3><div class="post-header"><div class="post-header-line-1"></div></div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-1124118012725156302" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; line-height: 1.6em; "><span class="Apple-style-span">I am sitting here in the Hospice room with daddy. Today he seems more peaceful than the past few days. He isn't waking up as much and even though his breathing isn't "normal" it seems easier for him to breathe.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">They have his CPAP on him most of the time because it is easier to breathe with than than just the oxygen in the nose. Today dad is taking longer between breaths, as much as 30 seconds. Nurses tell me that is to be expected. That it could get better, stay the same or get worse. And there is no telling how much time it will stay one way or the other.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">Dad's feet are really cold now. The blood circulation to them is about gone. Dad is at the point where his brain sends all the blood to his brain and lungs. It's just what a body does. And there is this thing calle<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span">d </span><a href="http://www.compassionandsupport.org/index.php/for_patients_families/death_dying/signs_of_dying" style="color: rgb(53, 80, 117); text-decoration: none; ">mottling</a><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span>that is happening to dad's feet.</span></span></div><div style="clear: both; "></div></div><div class="post-footer" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(120, 183, 73); text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 0.1em; font: normal normal normal 78%/normal 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 1.4em; "><br /></div></div></div></div></span>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-39757980427404863552011-06-19T15:39:00.001-04:002011-06-19T15:41:36.235-04:00Important Update<span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Dad is not doing really good. His doctor said that depends on what happens over the next few days will tell just how much longer he has. IF he improves some he could live another 2 or 3 months. If he DOES NOT improve it could be days or weeks. The doctor said that if anyone wants to see him it would be better to do it as soon as you can as we just don't know how much longer daddy has.<br />This is really hard. Hospice is making sure dad is as comfortable as possible.<br /><br />I am going through this alone and am trying to stay together. So we both need your prayers. Thanks so much everyone.<br /><br />And not that it really matters much anymore, tomorrow morning workmen are coming to my house to start building me a new screened in back porch. And Wednesday the 22nd is my birthday.<br /></span></span></span>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-83833312547283085102011-06-19T10:43:00.001-04:002011-06-19T10:43:42.368-04:00Hospice<div class="post-header"> </div> <div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-2516085442049341026"> <span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Friday afternoon I had to call the Hospice nurse out and the decision was made that dad needed to go to the Hospice house for at least a few days so we could get his breathing under control.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Dad had a really bad first evening. But was doing some better. Yesterday was an ok day as far as Dad's days go. The decision was made to give him a pump so he could have continuous meds to help him breathe better.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">But this morning he was really confused and I had to get the nurse to help me with him. Nurse says that dad's disease will cause him to get more and more confused, more and more augmentative, and have more and more anxiety. This is something I didn't know.</span></span></span></span> </div> <span class="post-author vcard"> </span><span class="post-icons"><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-208148721"><a href="post-edit.g?blogID=1186159239276117645&postID=2516085442049341026&from=pencil" title="Edit Post"><br /></a> </span> </span>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-64660665943902644162011-05-27T16:54:00.002-04:002011-05-27T16:57:07.587-04:00Update on dad<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >Dad is ok, but he isn't doing too good. His oxygen levels usually hang around 96 or 97, today when the nurse came it was 93. Nurse B said not to worry until it got into the low 80s. Well poo on Nurse B, I will worry if I want to.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >Dad is having problems -- again -- with his blood pressure dropping when he stands. It is also low just sitting. Nurse B called the doctor and Dr said to stop one of dad's blood pressure medicines.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >I was told by P, the Hospice social worker, that COPD can change on a dime. So I just don't know what to expect. Well I sort of do, but I still don't know. I know that sounds weird, but I guess I'm confused about a lot of things at the moment.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">I am guessing we will soon be at the point where dad can't get out of the bed. When that happens I don't know what I'll do. I can't take care of him if he is bedridden.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">Oh, did I tell you that I had to have one of dad's cats Sarah put to sleep a few weeks ago? He still has the other cat -- 150 --. It was hard to let go of Sarah. She was 16 years old. Such a sweet cat, we even mentioned her in mom's obit.</span></span></div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-53155720398478270822011-05-10T15:10:00.002-04:002011-05-10T15:24:59.087-04:00So we got throughFrom March until after Mother's Day is hard for me. Mom was diagnosed on March 13, 2008 with lung cancer, on May 3rd of the same year she died. That's not even 2 months. The Sunday after we buried her was Mother's Day. Mother's Day will always be within a week of the anniversary of mom passing.<div><br /></div><div>Last week I had to take Sarah -- dad's cat -- to the vet and had her put to sleep. She was 16 years old and Dr B said she could live probably another month or two but I didn't want to drag it out for her. That just wouldn't be fair to the cat. Sarah was mom's cat too. We even mentioned Sarah in mom's obituary. </div><div><br /></div><div>Dad was doing pretty good, but the past week or so he seems to be going downhill. He is becoming more tired, and something else is wrong. I can't figure out what it is, maybe it's depression. I mentioned everything I could think of to dad's nurse today, and he (the nurse, we have a male nurse) said it could be a number of things. Depression being one, the progression of dad's illness, or a combination of things. Of course I am a worrier so I go straight to the bad stuff.</div><div><br /></div><div>My brother......he and his wife are basically homeless. I got a text from him saying they were in Colorado and would find a job and all there. About a week later I get a text saying they were here in NC at the coast. He asked about dad and I told him, he says so it's bad huh, and I said yes. Did he call dad? Nope. When they were out roaming around the country did he call dad once? Did they stop by on the way to the NC coast? no, no, no. I get so upset and mad thinking about my brother that I try not to.</div><div> </div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-36399204667968093122011-04-20T11:46:00.002-04:002011-04-20T19:33:41.706-04:00Dad's home<span class="Apple-style-span" >Got dad home from the hospital last night. He is doing really good. The doctor did send him home on oxygen, and with full Hospice care. I am not sure exactly what that is saying about how long dad has to live. Can't get a straight answer out of anyone. I know Hospice is usually for the last 6 months of life. Dad and I have NOT spoken about how much time he may or may not have left. The 3rd anniversary of mom's death is coming up on May 3rd and that bothers me. Hopefully that won't trigger something inside dad.<div><br /></div><div>I don't have the internet at dad's house so I can only update when I come home to feed the cats, or if I feel dad is good enough to be left alone for awhile. But I'll try to keep everyone up to date.</div><div><br /></div><div>Prayers are always welcome,</div><div><br /></div><div>Kathy </div></span>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-21144068130540429982011-04-17T18:37:00.000-04:002011-04-17T18:38:09.796-04:00The hospital again.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 17px; line-height: 27px; ">Yesterday I had to call 911. Dad was having way too much trouble breathing. He really didn't want me to call but I had to.<div><br /></div><div>Dad is in the hospital in TICU. He is doing pretty good. They are having problems keeping his oxygen levels up where they would like them to be.</div><div><br /></div><div>Dad has some fluid in his right lung and outside of his lungs. The doctor has been talking about going in and draining some of the fluid off.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's all I know for now.</div><div><br /></div><div>Keep us in your prayers.</div></span>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-67666599151596038742011-02-07T13:45:00.001-05:002011-02-07T13:45:43.286-05:00The latest on dad<div>The CT scan showed that dad has emphysema really bad, and has scar tissue in/on his lungs. All this is probably from him smoking all those years. But that doesn't explain the blood he has been coughing up -- which is getting worse. So they are going to do another test -- probably Wednesday but could be Thursday -- where they run a light down into his lungs and maybe even take a biopsy to see if there is any cancer.</div><div>Whatever comes up there is a high likely-hood that dad will be on oxygen when he comes home. The doctor says he needs to have dad up on his feet and around some before he makes that decision. </div><div><br /></div><div>That's all I know right now. Please keep us in your prayers,</div><div><br /></div><div>Kathy</div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-33427255467049999012011-02-06T15:40:00.001-05:002011-02-06T15:42:07.924-05:00And he is back in the hospital.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="margin-top: 0.25em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; color: rgb(204, 102, 0); "><br /></h3><div class="post-header" style="font-size: 17px; "><div class="post-header-line-1"></div></div><div class="post-body entry-content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; line-height: 1.6em; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >Dad went to the ER Friday night because he was having trouble breathing.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >Today he is doing good.</span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >Dad has congestive heart failure and had gotten too much fluids in/around his lungs/heart. They are working to get the fluid off of him. He is breathing much better today. They also did a CT scan of his lungs to see if they can find out why he has been coughing up blood. Don't have the results from that ye</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; ">t.</span></div></div></span></div></span>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-74702992522872524592011-01-27T17:25:00.002-05:002011-01-27T17:35:16.883-05:00ThursdayHello world. Or the little part that still listens.<div><br /></div><div>Took Dad to his cardiac doctor today. Everything is pretty much stable. Except for the fact that dad has been coughing/spiting up blood. So the doctor is sending him to a lung specialist on Feb 15th. Because mom died from lung cancer of course that is where my mind automatically goes. I am praying it isn't that.</div><div><br /></div><div>My niece that had the baby back in December has been depressed. I worry about her. I hope it is just the baby blues and nothing more. Of course if I had 4 kids I think I would be depressed too!</div><div><br /></div><div>I guess I have mentioned my cat Maggie. She is overweight (aren't we all?) and can't clean herself so good. And the vet really let me have it for the way her bottom looked (the cat not the vet's bottom) so I have been cleaning her everyday. I have these wipes for "between baths" (I don't give my cats baths) that I use. Everyday when I come home from dad's Maggie will fuss and fuss until I pick her up and clean her little hiney. It's kind of cute that she fusses to get me to clean her. And I was afraid she wouldn't like it. LOL</div><div><br /></div><div>I have been thinking about the old AOL J-Land days. I so wish we could turn back time to those days. I know I need to do a better job of keeping up with everyone here in blog-land, but somehow it just isn't the same. Is it just me?</div><div><br /></div><div>Love everyone of you guys/girls.</div><div><br /></div><div>Kathy</div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-2557100583286910982011-01-07T19:36:00.002-05:002011-01-07T19:40:05.472-05:00Forgot to add....Dad was in the hospital the week of Christmas. He was having problems breathing so I called 911. He has been diagnosed with <a href="https://health.google.com/health/ref/Heart+failure">congestive heart failure</a>. He has the Diastolic heart failure kind.<div><br /></div><div>I have to weigh him everyday to make sure he isn't gaining too much weight (in fluids) so we can get the fluids off him before he ends up not being able to breathe again</div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-56015280979570147892011-01-07T19:25:00.002-05:002011-01-07T19:35:17.312-05:00I'm still aroundGood news. My niece had a baby (kid #4) about 1 week before Christmas. Little Piper Grace weighed in at 8 pounds 7.5 ounces. <div><br /></div><div>Before I forget.....Russ if you are reading this (and I hope you are) you need to check out this new website: <a href="http://www.thecartooniststudio.com/">http://www.thecartooniststudio.com/</a> it is based here in my hometown and the newspaper says it is "more than 25 cartoonist have created pages........photos of work.....interact with fans directly.......site also lets aspiring cartoonist add their work......Amateur Cubicle.......starting in Feb.....site will hold contest....." I think pear dude would be a great character for you to enter! </div><div><br /></div><div>Dad is doing pretty good. I started a few nights ago coming home to spend the night. I wouldn't have done it if I thought dad wouldn't be ok. I don't know how long the new arrangement will last but right now it feels right. He can call me, or he has one of those life line buttons he can push if he needs help.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8814618594311058601.post-29345401588281979542010-12-20T18:52:00.001-05:002010-12-20T18:52:49.025-05:00And one more time......Dad was admitted to the hospital today. He was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Hopefully he will only be in the hospital a day or two.Kathy, a soaring turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08147255892545377672noreply@blogger.com3